It is what it is... and that's a good thing

I jokingly remind Chad often that people don't care about him (or anyone) nearly as much as they care about themselves. But it really is true. I think it is good and right that we try to please others with our words and reactions. But the thing is, toiling over what others think is really a waste of time. They don't listen 90% of the time, or if they are listening, they are applying whatever it is to their personal situation. People are just selfish (not pointing a finger, I do it too). I've been reminded of this like a boulder to the head when we have shared our miracle of Chad's tumor being benign with people to reactions of "I guess you jumped the gun thinking it was cancer" or "I guess all that fear was an over-reaction." People, seriously?!?! You guessed it, I was just looking for attention and jumped to conclusions that my husband had a life threatening disease.  Do you think I'm an unstable fifteen year old girl?
Then I try to think about it from their perspective (remember, people don't really listen or care). They didn't read that I thought this because two doctors told me this, nope, no one seemed to read the paragraphs taken directly from the report. They heard one sentence, "Chad has cancer." If they would have listened, they would have understood that is exactly what we heard (with much more horrible detail).  Or they say, "don't you wish you hadn't said anything to anyone?" They clearly don't know me. I'm an open book and always have been. I'm never going to sit for two weeks in AGONY quietly. We needed prayers number 1. And, if you have ever been in a position like this, you know that you look around at the world and wonder how people are still functioning like everything is ok. But yet you don't want to tell them about your agony - even though you feel that they should know and be just as concerned as you are. So I put it out there so that everyone would know and I wouldn't have to tell them individually. But now that the reports changed and we are celebrating a miracle, I'm finding people are not rejoicing with us. And frankly, it really ticks me off. If you have had these thoughts, put yourself in our shoes for 2 seconds and actually read this statement realizing that you are only going to read/remember 10% of this post:
We got a report that it was malignant based on the MRI, which we were also told was the best means for diagnosing tumors of long bones.  We spent the next week plus in a state of extreme fear and shared in great detail. Over this time of fear and prayer, the tumor changed. It shrunk, it quit hurting, and we found our peace. We went to another doctor who disagreed and eventually found out it was benign, removed it and we are extremely thankful.
 Did I over-react? I don't think so. I think I over-shared with the creepers. This whole social media world in which we have found ourselves is both a blessing and a curse. It is nice to be able to share life with people easily and across great distance. But it has a learning curve. I've found there are 2 camps - those that share life and those that are creepers. Obviously, I'm a sharer. The creepers pretend that they are "just too busy for all that" yet, they know what everyone else is doing. Every time I see a creeper they ask about something I've shared on here or Facebook, yet do they ever comment or share their life, no. They just creep around being nosey. So the theory of social media doesn't quite work with the 2 camps. I've realized this over the last few years and these hurtful words about the tumor solidify these opinions. So I spent a few minutes this morning looking at my friends list...depressing that the majority of people are creepers (and are now blocked).

For those of you that are still reading, I assume that you are in the 10% that actually share life with us. You are one of those that prayed through the fear with us. Thank you. When God shows up and "does his thing" we should shout it from the rooftops. Sadly, I feel that we can't do this because of these type of reactions. I don't know that the tumor went from  malignant to benign in that time. But I do know that we saw it change and we know that is certainly possible. Either way, we are so incredibly thankful. Our world was rocked off its axis and quickly put back. Hallelujah! Through all of the fear we kept finding the hymn It is Well running on repeat in our heads and hearing it everywhere. It was neat to hear little snips of it in a store on the muzac or getting into the car and catching a bit on the radio. Or in an instrumental medley on Christmas Eve. It was a nice hug from above. I'm not sure which service it was over the holidays or if it was a Sunday morning, or even if it was just here at home... but afterward at some point, I wept and praised through this song. We could call it my "hug back".

I'd love to shout it from the rooftop that Chad is almost completely healed and that we are rejoicing a true miracle, but I'm annoyed with people. But trust me, we are rejoicing and no one is stealing my joy.